Li Beirut..

Yesterday morning, we received some bad news, a family friend, my dad's oldest friend, has passed away. He was Greek-Lebanese, and has lived in Lebanon for most of his adult life. He was one of the nicest, best-humored people I have ever known. In the past few weeks, he got sick and had to be hospitalized and operated on. Finally, he had to be taken to the Intensive Care Unit where he peacefully passed away.

What's really sad was that when we received the news, my mom said that its a good thing he passed away before seeing what Lebanon has become. I realized something. They'd rather see their friend of 45 years pass away, than have him dwell in sorrow over what his beloved country has come to.

Later that night, it just hit me, and I cried.. for the first time since this "war" has started..
I cried in grief..
I cried in sadness..
of desperation..
of anger..
of helplessness..
This is soo.. wrong! this should not happen.. This is not happening.. That's what i've been telling my self for ther past few days.. I've been in complete and utter denial until this moment. That Beirut could be gone in a second. That Lebanon, my love, could just turn into dust..

A few days ago, a friend asked if if i would go to Beirut if I could, and i didn't even hesitate in answering, "ofcourse!" I think i was partly in denial.. but still.. even after this moment of realization.. I would go.. why? I don't know.. for the help that i could give?.. by doing what?.. volunteering in a hospital, donating blood, donating clothes and money? is that all i can really do? is it enough? i don't know.. i guess i want to be there if -God forbids- something happens.. You know this thing that moms sometimes do.. how when you're going some place "dangerous" or faraway or whatever they insist on being with you? and even though you both know that her presence will not make an actual difference, she just insists to be there, so that if something happens, at least she was there with you.. that she did "her part".. i know it doesn't make much sense.. but it's sort of the same thing..

I love Beirut.. i love it.. I can't express my love in words.. the only things that come close, are the words of the great lady Fairouz.. and one thing i've been avoiding till now, because i know that listening to it will definitely make me cry, is Majida Al-Roumi's song "Beirut, Mistress of the World"..

يا رب، يا رب، يا رحمن، يا رحيم، احمي أرض لبنان، واللبنانيين، وأخواننا المسلمين.. يا رب، كل من كان في قلبه ذرة حقد، أو كراهية، أو غيرة من لبنان فردها عليه. يا رب اهدي أولياء أمور المسلمين. يا رب لا تسلط علينا من لا يرحمنا. استغفرك ربي وأتوب إليك