The Grande Finale

WARNING: It's very long, but i hope you'll find it interesting :)

Place: Emergency Room, which has 7 beds for "regular" patients, and 6 beds for critical patients (we call them "resus bays")
Time: Late night friday, technically Saturday Morning
Significance: My last day of training

Well, "nights" start at 12 am, and end at 8 am, and it's quite calm; we usually spend them chitchatting and joking about until around 6 am. where people with sickleavitis start showing up, especially on Saturday You see, sick-leave-itis is a very common disease, usually affecting young males who haven't slept all night and have to go to work in a few hours. It usually presents with abdominal pain, as it is the easiest to fake. It's usually very easy to spot them. They rarely cause much trouble.

As I pranced into the ER at 12 am, Dr. M2 (as in, M-square), was the one in charge. There was only one other doctor with him. Strange, since there usually are at least 4 or 5 physicians. He said as much, smiling and adding, "especially in my shift". He told me how, for some reason, during his 40 years working in various ERs, patients tend to just show up in unexpected numbers, whether it was day or night. I laughed it off, and he just smiled and said you'll see. And I did see..

When we started the shift, there were quite a few people, but nothing out of the ordinary.. A couple of kids with vomiting, a guy with abdominal pain, .. you know, the works..

1 a.m.
people were still coming..

2 a.m.
people were still coming, including a kid who broke his arm while jumping (why aren't these kids sleeping?!).. we had to keep him in the critical area and call the orthopedists (the bone people).. The ortho dr kept joking with Dr. M2 that he would not appreciate it if he woke him up again that night.. he kept telling him "don't u wake me up at 4 am!"..

3 a.m.
the number of people we have just wouldn't decrease.. the moment discharge a pateint, at least one more comes in.. a guy came with a "bite", he has no idea what bit him.. might be some wierd insect.. gotta keep him in the critical area..

4 a.m.
a really sick woman came in.. never in my life have i seen someone so pale.. must be kept in the critical area..

4.15 a.m.

I took a look at the board (where they keep "score"; number of patiens in each area, plus additional info).. people were just flooding the ER.. i decided to go on a coffee break

4.50 a.m.
Dr. M2 went to the board to "pick" a patient, wanted to see a "crying baby" (yup, that's the parents' complaint!).. I noticed that a new name was put in "resus".. it read "MVA" (Motor Vehicle Accident).. It had arrived a minute or two ago.. so we decided to go there..
We saw a little kid, around 10 years old.. He had an accident on those little "motorbikes" (دبابات) on the Corniche.. he looked okay, ws fully conscious and oriented, just a few scratches and bruises, but you have to make sure.. (especially since the kid wasn't wearing a helmet.. these places should be banned!!) we asked the dad about worrying signs, he said he had to call the mom to check (she was with him when it happened).. we arranged for x-rays to be urgently taken.. and ofcourse he too was put in resus.. (Again, why is a 10 year old child playing at 3 am??!)

5.10 a.m.
I'm leaning on the desk, talking to Dr. M2 about his plan regarding one of his patients, when a couple of the Red Crescent guys come in rolling a guy in a trolley.. The guy was covered with blood and dirt, and the look on their faces said it all.. Car accident.. and not a simple one..
As i moved closer, I heard the Red Crescent people inform the doctor that there was another one on the way.. which is a little but more than the ER can handle with just 2 doctors present, especially that the first guy looked pretty bad, and there was a good chance that the other one was just as bad..
From a few meters away, with one look, Dr.M2 expected that the guy was gonna crash soon if a tube wasn't put down his throat to help him breathe.. He made the necessary calls and jumped to check on the patient, instructing me to answer the phone and ask the people he paged to quickly come to the ER.. (including the bone doctor who was jokingly complaining earlier, hehe)

5.15 a.m.
The second victim arrived, and Dr. M2 was just making sure everything was "okay", when the "Trauma team" came.. The trauma team are usually a buch of surgeons and nurses, each assigned to do a specific thing.. Man, aren't they organized!! (Which also reminds me; tall, tanned surgeons are usually very hot especially when they just wake up, with their hair all messy and stuff.. ;) )
CONCENTRATE
So i go check out both guys, and to spare you all the gory details, let's just say they were in really bad shape, especially the second one.
Apparently one of the nurses was "new" to the ER, so she kept shaking and dropping things back on the tray.. So i just tried to get her to concentrate back on her work (i.e. i "yelled" her name so she could just divert her attention for second, offered my help, smiled, then let her get back to work.. this actually works when people are panicking, try it!)

5.30 a.m.
The place officially looks like a an ant farm.. The room that previosuly had around 3 or 4 of the staff now held at least 17 people.. each doing his job so perfectly, somewhat calmly, yet frantically.. it's so difficult to explain.. It's that if you disengage from the moment and just observe each person, you'll notice the look of calm concentration on their faces, the smoothness of their procedures, the preciseness of their documentation.. Yet, the buzzing was continuous; everyone was talking, yelling or shouting.. It was professionalism in all its beauty...

5.45 a.m.
Another guy gets rolled in on a trolley.. the paramedics tell Dr.M2 that there are at least 4 more on the way..
I look at him and smile :)

5.50 a.m.
Another guy gets rolled in (the 4th for tonight), like the last one, he is conscious , with a few broken bones and a few cuts and scratches.. much better off than the first 2..

5.55 a.m.
The first guy who was rolled in is relatively "stable" but in a very bad state, so he's taken to the CT scan (to get a picture of his brain, make sure everything is still in place).. from there he will be taken to the intensive care unit (ICU) where they will continue monitoring him and making sure he's fine..
1 down, 3 to go :)

6.00 a.m.
the 5th guy for tonight gets rolled in.. he looks bad.. just as we rush off to check him out, they roll someone else in. Now, Dr. M2 starts to get mad.. the last guy they rolled in was NOT critical.. he had clearly explaied to the Red Crescent that the ER's capacity can barely tolerate (at this specific day) more than 2 or 3 MVAs, and here they are rolling in the SIXTH!
The doctor was totally right; what they're doing is against procedure.
No. 1: they have radios in the ambulances, they should use them and CALL. That's what they're there for.
No. 2: technically, they're not allowed to just "roll" patient in.. It's not a walk-in market! One of the doctors (preferrably the one in charge) should sign on a paper and "Accept" them.. Ofcourse no one really does that in really critical patients (as in, dying), but when they roll in a patient who is perfectly fine except for a broken leg, now that's just pushing it!
As Dr. M2 was explaining this to the extremely rude Red Crescent guy (so rude I wanted to slap him!), a guy from the accident walked in, sat on a wheel chair, and rolled himself to the critical area! Now that's just.. umm.. unconventional..
Dr. M2 calmly told him that we don't have time for this; he will not sign that he received these patients, so he might as well pick them up and go to another hospital.. and then he turned around to go check on the other patients.. The guy kept following him and yelling that this was unacceptable and he kept on rambling about how he wants to talk to his supervisor bla bla bla.. like it was the time for this! then he stormed off to God knows where. The rest of the Red Crescent guys just silently took those two "extra" guys back to the ambulance and probably took them to another hospital..

6.15 a.m.
By now all the patients that were in bays were now either in rooms or out in the hallway.. more and more medical staff were flooding into the resus area, each with something to do.. The buzzing was continuous, and i was still observing..

6.30 a.m.
All hell is breaking loose around the 2nd guy.. He is in a very horrible shape.. He was injured all over.. and the scariest part was.. he was bleeding.. and no one could figure out where from.. solution? some emergnecy fixing! Procedures I haven't seen in my life were being carried out, machines so odd I couldn't even guess what they were for were being brought in.. He was connected to all sorts of tubes and stuff.. And it was way too crowded for me to observe anything.. so i moved on..
I checked on 5th guy; he's stable and was taken to CT san.
2 down, 3 to go..


6.45 a.m.
Back to no. 3 and guy no. 4.. Their xrays werent taken yet, their blood wasn't drawn yet.. It's just that when things get this critical.. you start with the worst off.. Dr. M2 asked me if i could take the blood of one of them.. and i said sure..!
ehemm..
I DID IT!!
It's not like it's my first time (I've been doing it once or twice every couple of days for the past month), but this is the first time when it's actually a critical patient.. It was a big deal to me.. And my "toughness" amazed me, becuase in situations like this patients are not very cooperative, and you have to find just the right balance between being nice and empathetic, and being professional and strict.. Because this has to be done NOW.. yay me!

7.00 a.m.
Time for changing the nurses' shift.. theyt're not required to stay a second after 7 am, yet none of them even moved! They just wouldn't leave the pateints and doctors until someone else was right there as to make sure that everything is alright.. It's not exactly what you expect after 12-hour shifts.. Now if that's not loyalty, then i don't know what is..
Still, changing shifts was a bit confusing, so i ended up drawing the blood of another pateint,, and it just felt wonderful, to be a part of such an efficient team..

7.15 a.m.
I took a peak at guy no. 2.. apparently while i was "busy", they literally surgeoned him., you know, opened him up, and did the works, in the emrgency room (!!). umm.. wow

7.30 a.m.
My feet were aching so much i wanted to cry.. Things were calming down.. There wasn't much to do.. I leaned back on the desk and started chitchatting with Dr.M2, just laughing at the irony of the "night" we just had.. He was telling me some anecdotes, and cute surgeon guy joined in.. Ofcourse, I was floating above the clouds, when i noticed the damned thing.. The ring on his finger.. aaahh.. oh well.. he still is cute :)

7.45 a.m.
Things were looking bleak for guy no. 2; he might not make it beyond noon.. they were taking him to the operating room to try and save as much as they can..
The rest of the guys were relatively fine.. Most of the other pateints were discharged..
with 15 minutes to go, Dr.M2 gave me permission to leave.. but i told him that i wanted to wait and see the faces of the next shift as they strolled in, assuming it was a quiet night..
I had to wait til 8.15, but i t was worth the wait..

There are somethings that can't be explained by writing.. things which you have to be there to experience.. that is the spirit of everyone.. During this turmoil, people were still joking, laughing, and smiling.. The nurses kept excaliming that all this was happening on my last day, and I was smiling back and saying that this was my Grande Finale.. That i couldn't leave without a big fuss.. They were wishing me good luck, asking me about my plans, and I even got to meet someone whose first shift was today.. The one word i could think of to describe all this, is "human".

One of the lessons i learned was: in the face of crisis, you can either laugh, or cry. I choose to laugh. :)

Li Beirut..

Yesterday morning, we received some bad news, a family friend, my dad's oldest friend, has passed away. He was Greek-Lebanese, and has lived in Lebanon for most of his adult life. He was one of the nicest, best-humored people I have ever known. In the past few weeks, he got sick and had to be hospitalized and operated on. Finally, he had to be taken to the Intensive Care Unit where he peacefully passed away.

What's really sad was that when we received the news, my mom said that its a good thing he passed away before seeing what Lebanon has become. I realized something. They'd rather see their friend of 45 years pass away, than have him dwell in sorrow over what his beloved country has come to.

Later that night, it just hit me, and I cried.. for the first time since this "war" has started..
I cried in grief..
I cried in sadness..
of desperation..
of anger..
of helplessness..
This is soo.. wrong! this should not happen.. This is not happening.. That's what i've been telling my self for ther past few days.. I've been in complete and utter denial until this moment. That Beirut could be gone in a second. That Lebanon, my love, could just turn into dust..

A few days ago, a friend asked if if i would go to Beirut if I could, and i didn't even hesitate in answering, "ofcourse!" I think i was partly in denial.. but still.. even after this moment of realization.. I would go.. why? I don't know.. for the help that i could give?.. by doing what?.. volunteering in a hospital, donating blood, donating clothes and money? is that all i can really do? is it enough? i don't know.. i guess i want to be there if -God forbids- something happens.. You know this thing that moms sometimes do.. how when you're going some place "dangerous" or faraway or whatever they insist on being with you? and even though you both know that her presence will not make an actual difference, she just insists to be there, so that if something happens, at least she was there with you.. that she did "her part".. i know it doesn't make much sense.. but it's sort of the same thing..

I love Beirut.. i love it.. I can't express my love in words.. the only things that come close, are the words of the great lady Fairouz.. and one thing i've been avoiding till now, because i know that listening to it will definitely make me cry, is Majida Al-Roumi's song "Beirut, Mistress of the World"..

يا رب، يا رب، يا رحمن، يا رحيم، احمي أرض لبنان، واللبنانيين، وأخواننا المسلمين.. يا رب، كل من كان في قلبه ذرة حقد، أو كراهية، أو غيرة من لبنان فردها عليه. يا رب اهدي أولياء أمور المسلمين. يا رب لا تسلط علينا من لا يرحمنا. استغفرك ربي وأتوب إليك

Being Healthy

I recently read a couple of articles, one from the Oprah website, and the other from the AHA (American Heart Association), about acquiring and mantaining a healthy lifestyle..

- trans-fat are hydrogenated oil (hardened oil). All the hype these days is about avoiding it because it's very bad for you. They are found in commercially baked and fried foods, including crackers, French fries, cakes, pies, bread, and cookies. They are now required to be shown on the Nutrition Facts label of packaged foods.

- good oils are olive oil, sesame oil, flaxseed oil (زيت بذرالكتان), grapeseed oil, and canola oil. They should be kept in a dark bottle in the fridge.

- try as much as possible not to heat up the oil. If you're using it for cooking and u don't have much choice, mix it with food then heat both as little as is needed, as opposed to heating up the oil on its own then adding the food (which all the "old" cookbooks tell you to do!)

- for a very healthy side dish: heat up spinach with olive oil and garlic. sounds yummy but i didn't try it yet!

- healthy snacks: almonds, pomegranates.

- when you buy food, look at the list of contents, they are usually arranged from the highest to lowest in %. If sugar (in any form!) is one of the top 5, chances are that it's not healthy!

- avoid high fructose syrup, try to use cane or beet instead.

Now the new AHA recommendations for 2006:
(a few were way too obvious -and long-, so i omitted them! Ofcourse, they include the avoidance of tobacco in all its forms) <--- bss 3shan al dameer!

- Set a goal of at least 30 minutes of physical activity daily. (could be divided throughout the day. ofcourse, more is better)

- Consume a diet rich in a wide variety of fruits and vegetables (not fruit juices), especially those that are deeply colored (spinach, carrots, peaches, and berries).

-Prepare fruits and vegetables with little added saturated or trans fat, salt, and sugar.

- Choose whole-grain, high-fiber foods.

- Consume 2 servings of fish, especially those relatively high in omega-3 fatty-acids (eg, salmon, trout, and herring) at least twice weekly.

- Children and pregnant women should avoid mercury-contaminated fish (eg, shark, swordfish, king mackerel, and tilefish).

- Limit intake of saturated fat, trans fat, and cholesterol by choosing lean meats, vegetable alternatives, and fat-free (skim) and low-fat (1% fat) dairy products and minimize intake of partially hydrogenated fats.

- Minimize intake of beverages and foods with added sugars.

- To consume no more than 2300 mg of sodium daily, choose and prepare foods with little or no salt. Middle-aged and older adults, African Americans, and those with hypertension should consume no more than 1500 mg of sodium daily.

- Limit alcohol intake to not more than 1 drink per day for women and 2 drinks per day for men (1 drink = 12 oz of beer, 4 oz of wine, 1.5 oz of 80-proof distilled spirits, or 1 oz of 100-proof spirits).

- When eating out, be aware of portion size; select vegetables and fruits; and avoid foods prepared with added saturated or trans fat, salt, and sugar.

as you can see, a lot of emphasis is placed on "trans-fat", and fat in general; actually the updated dietary recommendations set a lower goal for saturated fat (less than 7% vs less than 10% in the 2000 guidelines) and a goal for trans fatty acids of less than 1% of total calories.

Saturated fatty acids occur naturally in meat, dairy products, and tropical oils, including coconut and palm oil.

This last piece of info is dedicated to all the people out there who just *love* to pop pills..

"Dietary supplements, Vitamin E, other antioxidant supplements, folate and B vitamin supplements have unproven or uncertain effects on cardiovascular disease (diseases of the heart and blood vessels). However, dietary antioxidant nutrients should be obtained from fruits, vegetables, and vegetable oils rich in antioxidants."

sorry guys, turns out there are no shortcuts!! :)

My English

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

15% Dixie

15% Yankee

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What kind of American English Do You Speak?

thanks sunshine!

World Cup.. Again!

I wanted to write another post about the world cup.. but I've been too lazy to do that.. today I came across an interesting article/blog about the global effect of the world cup on different countries.. I quote:

".. people in China were warned about getting enough sleep at night, because the games were held at midnight their time. It is estimated that Chinese productivity decreased considerably due to sleep deficiency within the past month. The British were also warned about seeking time off from work to watch the games via false physician's notes! The Cambodian president appealed to his people not to gamble their land, their cows and all their belongings on these games, while the Algerian government apologized to its people for not being able to buy the broadcast rights of the games!.."

So.. what effect did it have on OUR country??.. he he.. I guess it's the restaurants got more crowded.. the streets got more crowded.. the people got more high-strung.. friends got another way of socializing and..umm.. what else? :)

25 hours..

"Yesterday" I stayed up for 25 hours straight! no naps.. nothing.. just 2 cups of coffee and i was good to go..

It was a long day.. I woke up at 12:20 pm.. My baby nephew came over.. then I went to the gym.. then at midnight i went to work.. My aunt had surgery so I hung out with her for a little while..
I got off at 8 something.. then had to go food shopping coz at 9:30 am my friends were supposed to come over for breakfast.. by then it was 21 hours and ticking..
imagine my amusement when at 10 am, when they still didn't show up, I called and turns out they "overslept" (!!)
I guess sleep-deprivation is an effective method of anger-management.. you become sort of emotinally-blunted.. he he..
They finally showed up, and my beautiful day ended at 1:30 pm.. a full 25 hours since I last tasted the sweet sensation of sleep..

Funny how when you go this long without sleep.. you stop being sleepy..

I guess it's true.. The more you sleep, the more sleepy you are.. The less you sleep.. the less sleepy you are.. :)

Happy Sleep everyone.. I'm off to work in a couple of hours!

Comics vs. Medicine

This is a really adorable website created by a family doctor who's interested in comics.. It's really one-of-a-kind :) He analyzes all the "medical" scenes and diseases in his favorite comics, such as Superman..

http://politedissent.com/

Enjoy! :)

World Cup

Yup.. I caught the world cup fever.. :) though i'm starting to notice a few things..

I never knew the meaning of an "off-side" (تسلل) till yesterday.. As far as I understood, it's when one of the offenders of one of the team shoots the ball off to an offender on the same team who is behind a line of defenders of the opposite team.. Apparenlty it's not right to do that and the refferee has the right to stop the dudes from doing that.. well.. I'm really sorry, but this is a SMART thing to do! why they want to stop them is beyond me..

---------------------------------------------------------------
I'm pretty pissed at the German team for winning over the Argentinians.. but I noticed something.. well.. let's just say.. If the word Italian relates to Italy.. then isn the word German related to GERMS??! hehehe.. the funny part is I JUST NOTICED!

Summer Plans: Part II

A few things I wanted to add to my list:
17. "brush up" on my Italian (That's just a nice way to say re-learn the teeny tiny bit of Italian that I studied a gazillion years ago)

18. learn how to salsa

19. Get my driver's license

20. Get new passport pictures taken

21. maybe get a massage? :)
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I am HOOKED on "Desperate Housewives".. They are just so realistically funny! And yes I'm a woman, I should not objectify women, bla bla bla.. but that Eva Longoria is GORGEOUS!.. is this what guys sound like?!

My Summer Plans.. Finally!

On Saturday I had my last final!! AT LAAAAAAST! It's been so long.. over a month now.. crazy I know.. Anyhow, I don't have to talk about it, because it's OVER!!

I've been bumming around for the past couple of days.. Trying to enjoy the feeling of useless-ness.. It's sort of nice.. I say sort of because I am unable to just "do nothing" anymore.. the only "do nothing" sort of thing that i can do is lie under the sun.. otherwise I'll get too bored, too quickly..

And like the fellow blogger, Bassem, I will hereby announce my summer plans!

(btw, if you get the feeling that you read these plans elsewhere, you're right, I might've copied and pasted it from someone else's list --> I'm being lazy!)

1. learn how to create links in my blogs (he he)

2. Go to the gym and lose all my exams-weight (I already started.. i've already devised and plan to get to the same size I was last summer.. and God knows how hard that would be.. but it's soooo worth it )

3. Start reading the "pending" books on my book list (this would've been an apropriate place to add a link to my previous post had I known how) and get some more books too

4. Get ANOTHER closet (for my bags this time!)

5. Summer training for 2 months.. (yes, i AM a stress-freak.. happy Sunshine??!!) a month in Jeddah and another outside Saudi Arabia (I just got both my acceptances a couple of days ago!). I actually have a semi-list of all the things I'm planning to learn.. I'll finalize it later this week before i start my training.

6. Travel (I am actually thinking of squeezing going to Prague in the middle of my busy schedule; let's wait and see!)

7. Get enough outfits and actually go to all the summer weddings

8. clean the little barn that is my room (untidy is an understatement!)

9. organize the files on my computer and read the articles that I've been saving on my DESKTOP (it looks freaky!)

10. take my wisdom teeth out (I was supposed to do that today but i totally forgot!)

11. Get closer to God (I'm not sure how exactly, but maybe pray more?)

12. stop writing "actually" so many times!

13. Get a gorgeous tan :P

14. change my hairstyle (Maybe I'll be a blonde this year, or a red-head?)

15. cook?

16. and most importantly, HAVE FUN WITH MY FRIENDS!

Coming Soon..

My Next Blog.. titled "My Summer Plans.. Finally!" .. will be out tonight..

I know you can't wait :P

Pushups

So today I'm checking the Oprah website (I only watch her show occasionally; her website is more practical).. and here is what I read..

"According to Dr. Oz, the average 30-year-old woman should be able to do 45 bent-leg push-ups (and five fewer every following decade of her life), and the average 30-year-old man should be able to do 35 regular pushups (and five fewer every following decade of his life). "Those should be national benchmarks," Dr. Oz says. "

(Dr. Oz is the health dude who is sort of a regular on her show)

Since I haven't been to the gym in over 5 weeks, I will refrain from enclosing how many pushups I can do.. I will probably be able to comment on this in a week or 2..

How about you; how many can you do?

Random Question

I have a question... you know those really sexy lip glosses; the high-shine variety?.. The ones that make you look like you have Angelina's pout even if you actually have a fish's lips?..

Why are they always so damned STICKY??!.. you can't even kiss some one on the cheek whilst wearing it, or even better, you can NOT go out in a windy weather and pretend nothing weird is gonna happen! (Hint: Striped Red Indian marks are not appealing!)

Maybe one day we'll actually have non-sticky lipgloss.. ahhh..

All Nighters

Who here have ever stayed up all-night to work on a project, read proof a presentation or study for a test?.. MEEEEEE.. and I guess most of you have done that at one time or another..

As for myself, I've been doing this for a few years now, though i guess this year I haven't pulled as much all nighters as a couple of years ago, because I'm starting to learn about a little thing they call "Functioning When NOT Under Pressure" <-- (New concept to me)

However, my blog today is not about this, but rather about something I just discovered like 5 minutes ago, which I find to be as much of a help during an all-nighter as a faithful cup of coffee or a fellow all-nighter-puller..

I announce..

THE JUMPING ROPE!

Yup, you've read it correctly.. a jumping rope.. That thing we used to play with when we were like 5..

I'll explain..

Haven't you ever read an article about pulling all-nighters? Didn't you notice that they all refer to "physical activity" as a very effective way to stay awake, yet none offers a practical way to do that?.. And this is where the jumping rope comes into play.. It's easy to get, practical to use in the middle of the night (unlike a jog down the street or something), it's fun, and you only need to do like 30 seconds to feel energized.. and the best part of it all.. you don't have to leave your room!!

BONUS: If the reason you're pulling all-nighters is having your final exams, then it's quite possible that you've gained a few pounds as well (ehem!) and this is a great way to start burning some calories!!

I just did 20 jumps (I have one of those cool ropes which actually count for you.. he he).. And I'm aiming for 100 a day/night (not tonight ofcourse, it's almost 1 am)..

And last thing.. ENJOY!

P.S. Music helps too :)

The Blog

Oh God.. I miss the Internet!! Actually, I miss Blogging .. It's been three days since I've been online, and I already feel lost! I don't know which city my best friend is in, I didn't download any new music, and I didn't check anyone's blog.. (which reminds me, I should connect my Limewire.. )

Why are blogs so addictive?? How did they become such an important part of our lives?.. A little less than 4 months ago, a "blog" was something that other people did.. and you know, just like drinking tea every morning, not THAT appealing.. :P

But then, Sunshine "announced" her blog, and a chain reaction started.. we all started blogging! We even started "depending" on our blog to share our latest news, problems, or feelings.. That and i got to "meet" a bunch of really interesting and different people..

I totally love how I actually feel closer to my friends, probably because you get to "talk" when you have the time, and they get to "listen" when they have the time.. which is a wonderful thing for people leading such hectic lives, because most days, you're just too busy in your own life that the only time you have is almost always a time they're busy..

And also, how can we forget, the talents that have been uncovered since.. :)

The Paper

Since I started my finals and all (pray for me!), I thought I'd stop blogging for a while.. But you know what? I guess I'm addicted! Isn't this how you know? when you really don't have time, yet you have something to say, you go to your blog? Or is this just sad/weird?

Well..

I am pissed. That is the one word that describes what I'm feeling right now.

Why?

Because part II of my exam is tomorrow, and just today, I found out that my "college friends" have this really important paper that I know nothing about, and no one bothered to tell me about it! We were studying together, and then I had to leave. When I asked them where they were going to study subject X from, they were like, that paper. (!!)
"Which paper?"
"Oh, this one".
"where did you get that from?"
"Umm, I don't know, was it one of our classmates?.."
"since when do you have it?"
"A few months, since our last quiz"
(...) That's when i started to get annoyed
When you study with people, especially your "friends", you're supposed to share everything, right?
But the again, s*** happens, moving on...
"I would've appreciated it if you had copied it for me too, walla ma yi7taj?" (I couldn't translate that :P )
"well, you buy stuff and you don't always copy them for us!"
More silence, on my part.. fumes coming out of my ears (I have a very fiery temper)..
Do you know how annoying it is when someone says that to you, when you do the exact opposite? When you truly act in the spirit of the team and ALWAYS share everything you have or know with them?
(Just like a 50's wife: I work and I work and I work.. and this is the thanks I get??!)
"really?" <-- sarcasm is what I do to avoid starting a fight
"yeah"
"aha"
"and also, when you want to give us something, you never copy it for us. You just hand us the original and I copy it for everybody"
"don't start with that.." Now fumes are coming out of my nose, too. Now I'm pissed. Who was it that was distributing papers like a mailman every couple of mornings for the past month?
"but.."
"DON'T"
(silence)
"umm.. u can have mine if you want.."
I look at her..
"really it's ok"
"thanks"
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Comments on the story:
#1: What was that about?
It's not just the "forgetting" part that upset me.. It's the "pretending it's normal" part.. and "makin it sound like i deserve it" part.
It could be: a. habal /idiocy
b. gillat ihtimam / not caring enough
c. nadala
I'm not sure which is worse!!

#2: question: Isn't this the way it's supposed to be?.. That when you study with your friends you share everything?..
Or are there some rules written somewhere about how this should be done?

#3: Is it simply that every once in a while you should give people some attitude to get things done?
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P.S. to understand more about why i reacted this way, imagine a neat-freak, control-obsessed, hyperorganized person. Monica-esque if you may. Yup. That's me. Aha. I know it.

The Inappropriate Crush

I have a confession..

Lately I've had a crush - correction: a huge crush - on someone so.. inappropriate..

Let me explain..

U know how u have a "type"? Some sort of common ground among all the guys you've ever fallen for.. whether physical (most obvious), intellectual, emotional and even biological (this is the category which age falls under, right?)

What's that about?

Does it mean that i've reached a point where i've realized that my "type" is no longer good for me? Or did i falsely assume that they were my "type" just because it was easier and more convenient this way?..

Is this new guy my new "type"?

Or am I just being a typical woman who destroys every element of enjoying a crush by overanalyzing everything?

Oh well...

Fact stands..

I'm crazy about him..

And let that be it.. :)

A Disturbing Story

WARNING: It's long..!

Little girl, 3 years old, admitted to the hospital for a heart problem she's had since birth.. sad, but not unusual..

But right there, near her name, for all to see, is written.. HIV +ve

Not in a hidden paper, not in a limited access file.. but right there, on the big book on the nurses' desk.. for all to see..
" Room Y: patient X Z (her full name), Saudi, 3y, HIV +ve"

Saudi? even more disturbing

An HIV patient in the middle of "normal" patients.. Odd.. (they usually are isolated in a creepy hospital near the port.. totally inhuman!)

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A cute little girl is sitting on the edge of the bed, short straight black hair, little smart eyes, obviously bored.. And her mom is there..

- "Al Salam Alaikom"
- "Wa alaikom al salam"
- "how r u?.. how's cute little X?"
- "she's fine.. waiting for her heart surgery to be scheduled" and she starts talking about the surgery and the doctor with my friend..
( Does the mother know? At such an age she most probably got it from her mother.. so she has it too..)
I smile at the mother..
- "does your daughter have any other disease?"
- "no"
- "did she undergo any surgeries before?" (maybe that's how she got it, you know, especially with the amazing hygiene rules we have in this country, and the fact that no one really bothers to check if hospital staff are actually cleaning instruments between patients)
- "no"
- "so she never got blood from anyone?" (another beautiful example of strict rules; people donate HIV infected blood and hospitals are not checking it properly. A case was in the Saudi news a few months ago of a hospital doing that. The hospital was fined 100,000 S.R. per patient. Nothing was shut down, no one was specifically implicated. Strict, huh?)
- "no"
(It's the mother then..)
- "did u get blood from anyone?"
- "no"
(could she be sleeping around?!.. not really the type. yes, I know, u shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but u gotta go with the odds..)
some chitchat about her age, other kids and stuff..
- "so does ur husband have any other kids? from a previous or second marriage?" (maybe he's married to someone not so.. umm.. "clean")
- "no"
a light bulb goes on in my head
- "did ur husband get any blood?"
silence
she knows
she knows that I know too
she inches closer
wants to look me in the eye but can't
lowers her voice

- "my husband has immune deficiency" (that's a "nicer" way of saying AIDS)
- "how did he get it?" (I don't know how I got the nerve, but I was glad she's honest)

silence
I repeat my question

- "how did he get it? did he take blood from anyone?"
more silence
she looks me in the eye
- "yes, he had a car accident and was given infected blood"

Silence
nothing to say

I tried to smile

- " I hope ur daughter feels better and her surgery goes fine"
what else could i say?

I left..

A man, his wife and their little daughter are all have an untreatable, deadly disease.. and all because of a stupid hospital's mistake..

and I'm still thinking about it till today..


to be continued..

Priorities

How much difference in priorities is too much?..

Is it better or worse when it's between you and your friends, or you and your teammates?

Are your priorities really a conscious decision?

Do most people realize their real priorities? Or do they just take what is handed down to them by other people, such as their parents, friends, husbands/wives, teachers, bosses, culture?

If you're "following" someone else's priorities, does this necessarily make you a failure?.. or unhappy?.. or is it just easier this way?

Too many questions.. too little time.. too confusing..

Maybe this is why people don't talk about it this much : )

My Love

I can't believe how much I love you..
Looking at you from a distance, I know there's no me without you..
But you're so bad for me..
sometimes..
I know that..
I tried leaving you, oh so many times..
but still..
I come running back..
You know I always will..
and when I do, I just enjoy you so much..
You're just too.. is there just one word to describe you?
You're a hundred things wrapped into one..
You're hot..
You're dark..
You're sexy..
You’re smoky..
The way you smell makes my head spin..
you're just absolutely delicious..
And that is before all the whipped cream and chocolate syrup comes into play..
But you're yummy enough on your own anyway..
Oh my love..

How can I live without you…


my dear cup of coffee??!.. :)